As you can tell on the right side over there under Archives I’ve managed to get my old content from 2002 forward online. This is both awesome and scary as I’m not sure I want to remember some of what I used to post about!

Thanks to Mike (previously of arsenic.net) for helping me figure out how to get everything imported. It’s a giant mess on the comment end of things which is a good portion of what made the archive awesome but that’s fine.

It’s very strange to read the things you thought ten years ago and since I never wrote in a journal, this IS my journal. There are several things in there that might cause me some grief in my current life but honestly I don’t care. These things have molded me into the person that I am now. I’m a 31 year old grown man with a wife and kids and good job. I’m quite proud of that and there was a time where I didn’t think any of that was going to be possible. I appreciate the support you all have given me over the years.

No really, I’m disappointed in myself. I keep trying like hell to get this whole blog thing started again and I just fail time and time again. I’m not sure what that means exactly.

Does it mean I should let mindtrance.net just go and forget about it, saving my archives to a local disk? I’m not sure… I used to make time to post on here and I guess that’s the main issue… making time and also — do I have anything interesting to say?

I have a few websites always in a state of constant disarray. I guess that sums up how I feel though… in a constant state of disarray. I feel like I need to complete something, anything instead of having a bunch of started projects. Why the hell am I so unmotivated?

I’ve been thinking lately that I really wish that they would make another Matrix movie. I know the sequels weren’t everything they could have been but it still left me craving more of that world and the ideas in it. I find the backstory and factual information they used to create the stories brilliant.

The question is what would it be about and who would be the main players? It made me think about and read some other people’s thoughts on this subject and I think they were right about a few things. I agree that Merovingian was the first Neo and that maybe Seraph was also. I wonder if Neo would come back as some other role or just come back and literally finish the series as intended… would Trinity end up pregnant? They could even do a prequel if they really wanted to and show what it was like during the early years of the war.

The whole idea just fanscinates me.

Do not read this if you haven’t seen the finale yet. It will contain spoilers!

After watching the finale there were a few things that really stood out in my mind. One of the first questions that I’ve read on twitter was if they were in heaven and if in fact they all were dead. The answer is no to both.

The Church had symbols from every faith in the stained glass, not just Christianity. As far as the other thing was concerned Christian Shepard answered it perfectly when he said everything that happened was real and did happen. There was the flash forwards and backwards but the side flashes are what really stood out to me. It was the paths people took if the plane hadn’t crashed and the path they took once it did.

I think they were trying to say that in our lives these paths exist all the time but our choices are what lead us down those paths. We have people who impact our lives in different ways based on those choices but the rolls they play could be totally different based on the path choosen. Jack really did have that kid in another path, place and time. Since time doesn’t exist and there is no present time or past or future they were all happening at the same time.

They touched on reincarnation quite a bit in the show as well and transcending energy and moving on to the next plane of life which I thought was cool too. Most of what they talked about is very much the same way that I think so I was very happy with the ending.

Thank you LOST for making my brain hurt, my mind open, and for always making me excited for the next episode. It was a good run.

Make sure you swing by over my sister site www.fat2fit.net and check out my entry.  It’s something I feel has a place on this site and the other but it’s more on par with the other.

I’m was sitting here thinking about a few things and I wanted to try and write it all down.  I realize that I only write on this site every once in awhile because I’ll come back and read and reflect on what came out of my mind later.  If I wrote everything that was going on in my mind all the time I’d either look insane, or brilliant I’m not sure which.

I set high expectations for my life.  I’m starting to realize that in order to truely be a great man, you must not expect to be great in all that you do.  You must do those things which define you as a person greatly and great you will be.  I have always felt like I needed to do something big, pivotal, world changing with my life but I don’t think that’s true anymore.  I dream of doing such things but I can’t constantly TRY to do such things.  My actions must shape my life first and hope that the people who see me live will find meaning in what I’ve done and use that to inspire themselves to do more.

I can’t believe I’m almost 30 and I still don’t know what I want to spend my life doing.  What do I want to be remembered for?  It’s not being all over the place and never accomplishing something because I can’t focus on one thing.

As I’m sure you all know there was a guy that shot up a gym in Pittsburgh.  My friend sent me a link to his online journal where he basically documented his thoughts and ideas on why he ended up being as screwed up as he was.  Strictly from a Psychological point of view it’s interesting and sad at the same time.  The worst part is he mentions about how people might study his writings for insight into helping others and he’s probably right.  I actually am on the fence about posting it myself as part of me doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

My heart goes out to anyone directly effected by what happened.  This is a guy who was motivated by religious beliefs, rejection and isolation.  My question to you is this… how do these websites with all the signs not get noticed until after the fact?

Have you ever asked yourself this question?  I don’t mean what do you believe blindly… I mean have you given thought to what you believe, done research, expanded your soul to come to these conclusions?

I have but I’ve never documented it before.  I’m starting to realize that I spend a pretty good chunk of time distracted from myself.  I’ve become swallowed whole by an assault on my senses of what we call life.  Technology, Television, Movies, Music, Books, and so on.  How many people know what happened on American Idol last night but have no idea what the government is trying to pass to “save” our economy?  The media is saturated with news, but news blurred like a heavy night of drinking… it’s not quite the truth and not quite real but you know something happened there and you don’t really want to think about it.

It seems like my life is passing by faster and faster with every blink of my eye… what have I accomplished?  What do I have to show for 30 years of being alive on this planet?  I’m about to start a family, and I’ve maybe made a few people think about the world or themselves.  I might have shown a side of myself that changed someone forever.  Am I capable of more?  Does the world demand more of me?  I’m not sure… but I think I demand more out of myself and it’s time to stop letting it sleep.

Wow.  I’m super busy lately.  I thought my schedule after I graduated would calm down a little but it’s been just as busy as it was when I was in school.

Currently working on:  websites for sovereign collective, rip ink, friendly fire (gaming cafe), and possibly a music store.

I’m also of course working full time and trying to get the house stuff going.  It’s a lot of work!